When Two Brainiacs Meet
by Legessa
Summary: OneShot. McKay meets his match. Arguing ensues.


Hello my darlings. So this is a Harry Potter crossover with Stargate: Atlantis. I have no idea where this bunny came from, personally I'm blaming it on my chocolate deprived state.

**A/N**: I make no apologies as to any OOCness on the part of any character. This is what the not-so-plot bunny dictated, so don't whine about it to me you were warned. Also I tend to slip between addressing the characters formally and informally-deal with it.

**Disclaimer**: I in no way shape or form own anything related to Stargate: Atlantis or Harry Potter. If I did Sheppard boy would be joining my every growing male harem.

"Good grief! Ron where in blue blazes did you send us anyway?"

Harry Potter knew one thing for certain as several armed men slowly approached them, they were definitely in big trouble. He glanced over to his friends only to wince in sympathy as Hermione began what was obviously going to be the start of a big rant.

"Honestly Ronald Weasley, this is the last time I let you make a portkey for us! You forgot to visualize the destination didn't you Ron. What were you thinking?"

"Actually Hermione, I think the better question is what are we going to do to get ourselves out of this situation that's occurring."

Hermione and Ron both glanced up only to find themselves surrounded. Harry made to pull his wand from his robes but stopped as he felt Hermione's hand staying his actions. He gave her a questioning look when he saw a dark haired woman approaching them.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Elizabeth Weir. May I ask who you three are and how did you get here in the first place without using the stargate?"

Hermione gazed coolly at Dr. Weir with a somewhat calculating gleam in her eye.

"I'm Hermione Granger, the one with the dark hair is Harry Potter and the redhead is  
Ron Weasley. If you could kindly tell us where here is then we can just leave without bothering you any further."

"I'm afraid I can't do that Miss Granger. The knowledge of this location is a very valuable commodity that I can't share at the moment. However if you were willing to answer some of our questions maybe we could answer some of yours."

The trio shared a quick glance before giving a hesitant nod. Dr. Weir gave a polite if strained smile.

"Please follow me to our conference room."

Weir pressed her headset asking for Sheppard and McKay to join her. She stopped mid-sentence as Ron skipped up to her and stared at her with rapt interest.

"Is that a new fangled kind of feletone?"

"I'm sorry?"

Ron leaned in as if imparting a piece of great knowledge.

"I used one once to call Harry; wasn't sure if it would really work or not. Muggles sure do come up with some interesting inventions. It worked though, I reached him on my first try."

Dr. Weir didn't know how to respond to that statement as Ron looked exceedingly proud of his achievement. Luckily for her they had reached the conference room and the need for a comment was gone as everyone seated themselves. Elizabeth remained standing as two men entered the conference room.

"Hermione, Harry, Ron, these men are part of my staff this is Colonel John Sheppard and Dr. Rodney McKay. John, Rodney these are the mysterious new arrivals. If you two will grab a seat then maybe we can get some answers."

Weir turned her gaze to the trio apparently deep in thought.

"I'll ask you once again how did you get here; furthermore, what exactly is a Muggle?"

Ron ducked his head ears turning red when Hermione turned her fulminating glare on him.

"Ron you didn't, please tell me you didn't."

Ron gaze was sheepish, the flush creeping into his face. Hermione satisfied that he was thoroughly cowed turned to Dr. Weir to begin her explanation.

"A muggle is a term that we use, irrelevant to our conversation really. As to how we got here that's"

At this point Rodney cut in with a knowing glance.

"I'm sure that it was some kind of beaming technology similar to that of the Asgard, they probably have a ship cloaked somewhere nearby."

Ron, who had reached his sulking stage by now, made quick to interject his own statement.

"I don't see what's so wrong with saying the term Muggle, it's not as if I told them about magic or anything like that."

Hermione rolled her eyes heavenward as Harry banged his head against the table. Hermione pointed her finger towards Ron, "You, no more talking. And as for you," Hermione switched her angry gaze to McKay, "do you always answer questions addressed to other people, taking delight in making faulty assumptions?"

"Excuse me, I am a highly intelligent person. Using my keen intellect, it was easy to deduce that there are very few methods by which you could have possibly arrived. Thus I feel quite secure in my assumptions."

"You do realize of course that you evaded my question and are coming perilously close to whining. Great Merlin's beard you're almost as bad as the ferret."

Sheppard made quick to get in his own comment while Rodney sputtered nearing apoplexy.

"Oh yes, Rodney does this sort of thing all the time. He takes great pride in being the brains around here."

Hermione looked oddly vindicated at this statement.

"So you take pleasure in being an insufferable know-it-all."

Sheppard was all but bouncing in fiendish glee when Harry snorted.

"Surely Mione that's the pot calling the kettle black."

Sheppard nudged Harry in the ribs.

"Shh, don't interrupt it isn't everyday we get to see McKay up against the ropes. Ooh looks like he's about to blow. Everyone batten down the hatches, hurricane Rodney is looking to make landfall."

Rodney cast an irritated glare at Sheppard before returning to his argument.

"How dare you refer to me as a ferret, I don't resemble one in any manner. I think an apology is necessary."

"You know you're right, even Malfoy doesn't whine and complain this much."

Sheppard nudged Harry again asking, "Who's Malfoy?"

Both Harry and Ron were so entrenched in the argument that neither noticed the question causing Sheppard to nudge Harry harder this time, repeating his question.

"Malfoy's an arrogant prat from our old school got transfigured into a ferret back in fourth year."

Meanwhile Ron had entered the fray between Hermione and McKay.

"You know Mione I think he's right, he's more like a hippogriff- really prideful and everything."

"Well Ron, you might have a point he's got the ruffled feathers of one."

"And what is a hippogriff, pray tell?"

Hermione bit out the words "magical creature" before debating further points of similarity with Ron. However all conversations ceased at Rodney's loud, "A-ha. Clearly you're all delusional if you believe in magic."

"We are in perfect possession of our faculties."

"So you're trying to tell me that you arrived in our gate room via magic."

"I'm not trying to tell you anything but yes that is how we arrived here."

"As I said, clearly delusional."

"Well if that's the case you won't mind this little bit of magic." Hermione removed her wand from her robes and pointed it at Rodney before shouting "Petrificus Totalus". Rodney's body became stiff as a board, all except for his mouth.

"That doesn't prove anything there could have been a chemical in that wooden stick that deadens the nerves. Oh my god you've paralyzed me. Call Carson he has to fix me I can't be paralyzed."

Hermione rolled her eyes at all of McKay's dramatics before casting a "Silencio" and the room became blessedly silent.

"Now Dr. Weir, I ask you once again to tell us where we are."

Dr. Weir looked over at Rodney with apparent concern.

"Oh don't worry about him I'll release him before we leave. Now as to my question."

"Oh yes well your in the city of Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy. I can show you a map."

Hermione shook her head giving a small smile, "Thank you but that's not necessary. Ron give me your shoe so I can make a portkey."

Ron reluctantly gave up his shoe before turning to Harry, "How is it that she knows everything?"

"She's Hermione she just does; you should know that by now mate. Hermione hadn't you better release that McKay fellow."

Hermione grudging called out "Finite Incantatem" before pointing her wand at Ron's shoe murmuring "Portus" under her breath. "All right lads on three then?" They all touched a finger to the portkey and vanished as if they had never been there.

Sheppard, Weir, and McKay all stood with mouths agape before Sheppard broke the silence.

"I think I'm in love."

On seeing Weir's questioning gaze he explained. "She made Rodney shut up for more than five minutes, I adore her now." He smirked when Rodney began to mutter under his breath. Yup, it was just another day in Atlantis.

**El fin**

Well I hope you got some sort of enjoyment out of my little one-shot. Please leave me a review letting me know how my venture into the world of Atlantis went. Or tell me to leave it and never return.

REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

Legessa

Creator of Chaos and Destruction Since 1982


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